Swiss Exercise Boulder

 Copyright Carl Janssen 2023

Ttrolls in Switzerland are so frightening for humans to see that they hide away.  Sometimes Swiss Trolls would live in places humans do not go in parts of the swiss mountains hidden away from humans who are not as physically capable of traversing them as trolls.  They also had secret cave homes.  But some of them who like to watch humans sometimes hide under bridges near human settlements.  One day a traveling circus performed near such a bridge.  The troll who saw this wanted to perform such marvelous gymnastic stunts but when he tried he landed flat on his face, or his back, his butt, his side or worse his head.  Fortunately Trolls have a different kind of head than normal humans or he would be dead.

When other trolls watched him try and land they laughed at him and said Trolls can not be gymnasts.  But it only made him more determined.  He said not only can trolls be gymnasts but I will start a Troll circus, to which they laughed more.  After that he decided to travel to libraries at night.  He learned how to sneak into closed libraries at night and take the books without humans knowing then go to somewhere else secluded with a flashlight and read the books, for if he stayed in the library to read them he feared he would get caught.  He would return the books later by sneaking back in at other times.  He tried to read everything he could about circus performances and gymnastics and such things related to his goals.

Eventually he concluded he needed to do a handstand before he could do front hand springs and back hand springs and cartwheels well.  To do a handstand he needed strong shoulders able to lift his own body weight over head which he already had as a troll.  But also strong muscles in his Torso or Core region including but not limitted to a strong back and abdominal muscles.  He also concluded he needed to lower his percent body fat so he would not have to lift as much weight.

He started reading many books about how to get a strong core.  He read about how some people did such exercises on special exercise balls invented right in Switzerland.  At this he gathered money he found on the streets and one day snuck into a gym at night and put money where a Swiss exercise ball was and took the ball and left a note that the ball was payed for with the money left by the note.  When the gym manager found the note he said that ball costs more than that and called the police.  When he showed the police the video footage of a troll stealing the ball they thought he was pranking them because Trolls do not exist.

The troll was so happy he bought the ball to a remote cave and tried to start exercising on it.  Pop, the ball broke.  At this he started to cry.  All that work for nothing.  He slammed his fists on the cave floor and a stalagtite or some other hard rock like object hit him on the head.  Now this might kill a normal person and upset a normal troll.  But instead it gave him an idea the ball did not work because he needed something hard as a rock to withstand his troll body.  

He went back to town and put more money under tools he paid for while the strores were closed.  He went to various art and hardware stores to find tools he planned to use to make sculptures out of stone and to quarry stone material out of rock formations.  Now the police thought there was an epidemic of fake police calls in which people try to prank the police with troll videos.

He then started to carve a very round boulder out of the hardest material he could quarry as close to the shape of a sphere as he could.  He made it up to the height of his knees, this would be his Swiss Exercise boulder to replace the Swiss exercise ball he popped.  He then started using it to do exercises one would perform on a swiss exercise ball.  He was very satisfied and happy with what he had done but felt this was not enough.  He started researching books on other human exercise equipment.

He made other heavier boulders out of the densist material he could find and started using them like medicine balls for exercise.  Pretty soon he made a whole gym with weightlifting benches and various different shaped weights and equipment only all out of rock or stone.

After months of exercise and equipment making he developed enough relative body strength to do a one handed hand stand for an hour and to do 1000 front or back hand springs or 1000 cartwheels in less than an hour.  He then decided he wanted more equipment like balance beams, parallel bars and gymnastic rings.  Instead of hanging rings from a rope he decided to have rings at the end of a solid stone poll hanging down from a giant stone structure.  He started inventing exercise equipment the like of which humans have never seen before.

He build elabolarate structures to exercise in to mirror what he saw in the traveling circus and in books about gymnastics only all the structures were different to be able to withstand the body of a troll.  After building this new equipment and doing further training, he eventually upgraded the difficulty of his exercises from handsprings to flips.  

When he did 1000 back flips in front of other trolls they laughed at him no more and wanted to see him perform further.  He said to come back in a month to see him perform something better.  One month later he performed a one man show with a more elaborate routine than just a lot of back flips in a row in front of a larger audience with more trolls watching him.  

At the end of the performance he invited the other trolls to train to learn to perform like him and they did.  They buiilt elaborate structures to watch an entire troop of trolls to perform.  And massive exercise facilities large enough for not just one troll but a troop of trolls to have enough equipment to exercise at the same time.  Some of them also developed a love of sculpting pieces of art work out of stone after building equipment out of stone and started a art museum.

Trolls from other regions came to see the performances of the troll gymnastics troop as well as the troll art museum.  But the day came to an end one day when humans stumbled upon his structures.

They said they discovered the greatest and most ancient archeological discovery of all time.  They said the artwork made of stone in the discovery is greater than anything Michelangelo has ever sculpted even though it was made by stone age people before the invention of metal tools or the wheel.  Some people said the fact that such a advanced and massive set of structures could not even be made with modern technology yet existed before the invention of the wheel or certain other construction tools were invented proved it was built with technology of ancient alien visitors more advanced than modern technology, and others said it was built not by aliens but by Nephilim who were descendants of angels that "unbelievers" mistook as aliens.  In actuality the newly discovered structure was not ancient at all and was not built by aliens or Nephilim in ancient times but was recently built by trolls.

As soon as the humans discovered their structures the trolls abandoned them and simply started to build new ones somewhere else the humans have not yet found.

End